My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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