There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
