Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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