Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
