I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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