we have officially lost it.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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