Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
