Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This couple is walking their pig around campus
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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