Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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