did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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