in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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