break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
