Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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