Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
