Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
