meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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