she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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