Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
