K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
