I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
