Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
