we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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