PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
