Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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