do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
