My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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