She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They took my balls.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
