no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize