the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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