so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
