first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
