It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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