Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
