you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
