I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
