the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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