So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
