We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
