White coat. Heels.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
