I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
