She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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