I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize