I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
