pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
