Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
