So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
