Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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