i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
