You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
