I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
