I skipped work to stalk him.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
