Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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