If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
