ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
