I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
