I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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