Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's official drugs can't kill me
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
